Dreams of Hands
by ItaminoHime
Summary: Sometimes she dreams of his hands around her throat.


Yee, so I tried my hand at SasuSaku! I feel really awkward writing about this (?) I don't know, but man, Sakura has to be one tough ass bitch to have to deal with Sasuke Moody Mc Sassy Pants Uchiha. This is post-war shit, a 39 minute drabble thingy because why the fuck not am I right? Plus, I have not given up on upcoming fics! I am currently working on several (?) SasuHina fics and one ItaSaku, since you all seemed to completely enjoy that shit, all over it. They're crack ships, I guess it's just hard to find decent fics about those pairings. So yea, I actually made a fanfic blog on my tumblr, the link is in my bio! Everyone was getting fussy over my constant spam of fics being posted there, it's in correlation to my normal tumblr as well ;-;.

Without further adieu, I give you some really shitty pregnancy surprise SasuSaku I guess.

* * *

_Be steady on your feet, _

_No matter the trouble you meet_

_Lions make you brave, _

_Giants give you faith, _

_Death is a charade. _

_You don't have to feel safe to feel unafraid._

_Lions: Lights._

Sometimes she had nightmares of his hands around her throat.

In those times, she would wake up in a sweaty panic, his body stirring beside her and eyes genuinely fearful for the demons that were known to haunt his nights as well. He never knew, she didn't have the heart to tell him that she still feared him, she loved him, yes, unconditionally, but still feared him. He had hurt her over and over again, and she kept coming back as if he were a drug she could not get out of her system, a virus creeping in her brain. At first, the barriers around him were grand and extensive, ready to be taken down from the inside. He was a war criminal that had been gifted a pardon, it didn't mean everyone agreed with the Rokudaime's actions. She lived the first year of their relationship walking on eggshells, almost as if she were waiting for him to snap and wrap his hands around her neck again, just to see the light drain from her eyes.

But those feelings and thoughts were never spoken, kept hidden under lock and key in her heart. So when he first showed promise of change, she had panicked. Change was not a good thing for the last Uchiha, change was something horrible and it tore a rift between Sasuke and everyone else around him. It took about a week for Sakura to realise he was changing for the better, and not reverting to old ways once more.

Could anyone blame her?  
Old habits died hard and she knew it best.

So with the change in their relationship, she had tried her best to love him unconditionally, as she had all those years ago, but it hurt. Kakashi had pulled her aside and told her she had changed, and she knew this. But he was not talking about her skill set, or physical appearance, he was talking about her feelings. She was closed off and cold, being hurt by the man she loved over and over again, but it was worth fighting for. He was worth fighting her own demons for. She had changed because she was tired of being hurt, and she just wanted the love she had dreamed of as a naive and selfish child, a love she knew could bloom if she just _opened up_ to him and told him.

Three years down the line, the nightmares had not stopped, and she would wake up tangled in the sheets with shaking hands and terrified jade eyes. This was not supposed to be this hard, she should have been able to love him in the way she had dreamed, but a larger part of her had failed. She had failed, but she knew she would get back up and try again, she would try over and over, because his love was worth it.

When she had found out she was pregnant, she almost considered not telling him.

It was a stupid thing, and Sakura knew that, but they had been distant and emotion-blocked, and she wondered if the child would bring them closer together. He was trying, he was trying so hard in the small and discreet way he always had, and she knew him so well after all. She remembered the day she had found it, it was sun down, and she had been walking down the village, feeling something off. When she had stopped briefly to see if she had a stomach virus, she had found the shocking truth hiding inside her womb, the life-form that would become her saviour.

Sakura didn't want to tell Sasuke, because surprises were not the Uchiha's specialty, and he _hated them_. But, in the end, she supposed it was alright.

She had never seen his face full of so much shock, so still and frozen that his Anbu cloak had fallen out of his hand and landed on the floor. His face regained it's impassiveness, and he had taken two steps forward, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her neck as he lifted her off of the floor. Her arms were strong around his neck, and she started crying from relief as he danced them in circles across her apartment.

She should have known better, the old Sasuke was dead and gone.  
After that, the nightmares had stopped.

_15/02/12_

_Art: kanaru_


End file.
